Madonna Exercise Program
Madonna Rehabilitation Hospitals are Catholic hospitals that provide physical medicine and rehabilitation services to children and adults throughout the nation.
This product is intended for Teens between the ages of 13-19 years old. Please refer to our, including our Site Minimum Age and Professional Advice Disclaimer. We encourage Teens to discuss this Subscription with a parent or guardian, prior to purchase. Please seek the advice of your physician regarding any medical concerns, before beginning any workout program.
Do not start this fitness program if your physician or health care provider advises against it. If you experience faintness, dizziness, pain or shortness of breath at any time while exercising you should stop immediately.
Gruelling regime: Madonna performs during her Sticky and Sweet tour at Foro Sol in Mexico City Love her or loathe her, you have to admit that, at 50, Madonna looks pretty good for her age. Her toned thighs and 'bingo wings of steel' are envied by women half her age.
Similarly, Gwyneth Paltrow - despite a successful film career - is more celebrated for her long and lean legs than any of her recent performances. What these two glamorous blondes have in common is their workout. From my job as a showbiz reporter, I know that for the past year they have each spent two, sometimes three, hours a day honing their physique with superstar trainer Tracy Anderson.
But let's be realistic, both were in great shape to begin with. What would happen if a 'normal' size 14 girl, who was no gym lover, tried to take on their gruelling workout regime? I managed to track down fitness expert Jonathan Goodair, who has trained a host of A-listers and has also worked out with Tracy Anderson and Madonna for the past two years. Based at London's private members' club Home House, Jonathan is the only UK-based trainer to have mastered Madonna's and Gwyneth's regime. So could he turn me into a gazelle in just five weeks? There was only one way to find out.
Our plan is this: five weeks, six days per week - one-and-a-half to two hours per day, which is what Madonna and Gwyneth do. We will do 40 minutes of cardio exercise in each session, followed by one-and-a-half hours of Pilates-based toning exercises (think leg lifts and abdominal crunches). It's unlike any other workout because Jonathan will change what we do after every eight sessions in order to prevent the muscles from getting used to anything and to keep them working hard.
And all the exercises are different from anything I've ever done before. We will be working the 'accessory muscles', and not the large, major muscle groups such as biceps and quadriceps. Building these small muscles, which are scattered around your legs, arms and torso, not only prevents you from bulking up, but acts to pull in your frame - and make you smaller than you thought you could be. As for eating, while Madonna has a macrobiotic chef, I sign up for the Detox In A Box meal delivery service. It's three meals a day that are wheat, dairy, gluten and sugar free, and I figure if I can't have a live-in cook, it's the next best thing. Strike a pose: Showbiz reporter Ashley Pearson before she embarked on the intense exercise regime (left) and the toned and trim results (right) WEEK ONE This is a nightmare. I cannot stop yawning.
Jon keeps asking me if I am tired - of course I am tired! I have done 200 of the most bizarre leg lifts I have ever seen. My legs are bent at strange angles as I attempt to lift them to the side and upwards. It feels awkward. I am sore in places I didn't know existed, and my muscles are screaming. Jonathan has me up on a Pilates 'Reformer' machine - a weird apparatus with a wooden platform seat and pulley systems which supports the body so that you can stretch properly while lying or sitting down. I ask him if Madonna and Gwyneth do this, and he assures me that, yes, they put up with it, too.
Which makes me feel better until he tells me that Madonna does four times as many repetitions as I'm doing. This is basically Madonna's 'butt routine' and it will be the bane of my existence.
I had no idea I could break out in a sweat from leg lifts. We will be doing 30 minutes of abs, arms and butt-toning exercises every day. Jonathan says that if you want to see results like Gwyneth and Madonna do, you must do them all, every day. Share By the time we get to the cardio, I am flagging.
Instead of anything I've heard of, we do something he calls treadmill aerobics. It is what it sounds like: skipping, galloping and running backwards on a moving treadmill (set at 5.6 km/h, in case you're wondering). By switching the movement every few minutes, you give your body a much harder workout and avoid bulking up any major muscle group.
Apart from my constant fear of tripping over myself, I discover it is harder than mere running. When I start to pass out, Jonathan says I can 'run' a bit for a break. He is not kidding. Madonna is a big fan of this particular form of torture.
In fact, if you watch her video for the song Four Minutes To Save The World, she does some of this treadmill dancing. I catch an unwanted glimpse of myself in the mirror and realise I am looking terrible. I watch as Jon's other clients (Lulu was one of them today) leave looking radiant. I am starting to wonder if I should bring an extra T-shirt to change into mid-workout. One positive note: I am loving the Detox In A Box.
Knowing that, when I arrive home starving from my workouts, I can just heat something up that is healthy is making a huge difference. Toned thighs and bingo wings of steel: Another image from the Sticky and Sweet tour Walking up the stairs for the Tube, I break out in a cold sweat. Tired and fatigued, it's as if my legs won't carry me. Then, as I manoeuvre on to the treadmill to begin our treadmill dancing again, I tell Jonathan, who has the kindest eyes, that I genuinely think I may vomit.
I am speechless when he gently suggests that if I do need to vomit, I should make sure I lean away from the machines. The intensive exercise regime has meant I've been too tired to go out and see anyone, but tonight I go to see the musical Jersey Boys. Limping towards the bar at the interval, my date suggests some chocolates.
I find myself thinking 'What would Madonna do?' And I really can't see her gobbling up Minstrels in the dark. I avoid stairs everywhere I go. It hurts too much to climb them. Sensing I am in trouble, I buy every Radox muscle soak on the market.
Jonathan thinks my now notsonew trainers might be aggravating my constantly aching left knee. I think stopping altogether might be more effective, but I don't say that out loud. I am starting to dread waking up in the morning, because it means I have to go to the gym.
WEEK THREE Due to my knees acting up from all the treadmill jumping, Jonathan has expanded our cardio repertoire to include trampoline aerobics. It's basically me doing my most ridiculous dance moves on a bouncy trampoline. (Gwyneth does this, too, apparently.) However, at a bra size 34DD (unlike the pert Ms Paltrow) I would like to add that there really is not a sports bra on the market designed to handle this. Passing workmen were lined up to watch from outside the window today. I can't say I blame them. I nearly knocked myself out at one point.
Unexpectedly, this is turning into a booze-free few weeks as well. Working out at this intensity means I cannot drink at all; I simply wouldn't be able to train properly. As for dating, it's completely hopeless. I've definitely seen the last of Finance Guy, the man I'd been seeing on and off for a few weeks. Our relationship was already stretched, and my refusal to drink seemed to push him over the edge.
Madonna Exercise Machines
Could this be what drove Guy Ritchie away? At the weekend, I take a much-needed mini-break to Dublin. I am looking forward to three days away, out of town and away from the gym. I am lazing around in my suite at one of Dublin's poshest hotels, when I get a text from Jonathan reminding me to do my cardio workout. I bet Madonna and Gwyneth get text messages like this, too. The hotel's gym is closed, so I end up running in the rain. I am definitely losing my dignity.
When I get back and shower, I notice my hip bones are starting to re-appear. WEEK FOUR Monday morning was a nightmare. Jonathan was in a great mood.
He did my workout alongside me, which meant I had to work harder to keep up with him. I definitely hit the wall this week.
I feel awful every morning. People have started to tell me they can see a difference physically, but I'm too tired to care. Keeping my exercise gear clean means I am constantly doing laundry and I feel like I am always in the shower. I also find I can no longer concentrate. Jonathan advises me to eat more carbs: even Madonna eats carbs after her workout. Relief comes from an unexpected source this week: Madonna. More talk about her divorce mean I end up running around after the story, and I don't have time to train.
I wonder if Madonna skipped that day, too. One day off becomes several and I find I am wishing I were at the gym. Can pain be addictive? WEEK FIVE I notice in the mirror at the gym today that my hips are shrinking. I get invited to a party at Elton John's place and turn it down. It didn't start until 10pm and, frankly, I can no longer keep those hours.
And I can't drink. Jonathan keeps reminding me of his cardinal rule - he calls it '200 minutes of hell'. You must commit to 200 minutes of cardio everyweek if you want to see results. And the results are undeniable. Although Jonathan discourages daily weigh-ins, I have lost 10lb. Even more excitingly, my body really does look different - leaner and lither. My waist is smaller than I thought possible.
I feel different; stronger, tighter and more aware of my body. I stand taller. I am determined to keep training with Jonathan. But, non-Gwyneth girl that I am, maybe just two days a week instead of six. Indeed, I must also admit to a newfound respect for Gwyneth and Madonna. Their tightly honed bodies were not achieved by swallowing a pill, from cigarettes, or cocaine.
These ladies didn't take the easy way. They are in the gym every day sweating their guts out. And trust me, it's brutal. To train with Jonathan Goodair, call 020 7670 2000, or email jg@jonathangoodair.com. The Tracy Anderson Method - Dance Cardio Workout and her Pilates routine are out on ITV DVD, www.
For Detox in a Box deliveries, www.detoxinabox.com.